ETA creates spoof bike that shoots flames at motorists

The Environmental Transport Association is plugging its ilovemybike insurance service with its ‘Bond Bike’, a bicycle with handlebar flame throwers. But then the ETA goes and spoils a nice fantasy by adding caterpillar tracks for “smooth riding over pot-holed roads.”

Fret not, the ETA shoots back with a surefire winner: an ejector seat that jettisons would-be bike thieves.

The B.O.N.D (Built of Notorious Deterrents) Bike will be displayed on the ETA stand at the Cycle Show at Earls Court next week.

A ETA spokesperson said: “Wannabe James Bonds will be disappointed to hear that we have no plans to sell the B.O.N.D Bike, but it shouldn’t be necessary for cyclists to resort to flame throwers to get a little consideration on the roads. Correct road positioning and an assertive riding style can dramatically reduce cars and lorries passing too close.”

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